An Update

Still, we wait.

Everything is at a standstill right now. We await Mother's doctor (at the nursing home) to tell us whether or not he deems her mentally competent. If so, she plans to revoke the power of attorney (POA) currently held by another member of my family and reassign POA to me. After this, I will begin the process for bringing Mother here.

But if he declares her mentally incompetent, a miracle will be required to help Mother, because the person who now has POA is spiteful and intransigent, and will never relinquish the grip on Mother's finances and decisions. I care nothing for Mother's money. I want her here. The person who currently has POA doesn't really care where Mother is, as long as certain "benefits" can be gleaned from Mother.

God sent a blessing to us tonight. Through a series of actions I won't go into at this time, I was able to locate a person who lives near Mother's nursing home. This person visited Mother on my behalf today,and will visit her regularly from now one. This person will also act as my eyes and ears, and this is the real blessing. This person told me on the phone tonight, "If there is something going on that you need to hear, I will call you and tell you about it."

I am so grateful to God for this blessed person who is willing to help us. Please pray for this person, and please continue to pray for Mother's safety and well-being, as well as for wisdom and perserverance and increased faith for Sadie and me. This is a sad and jangly season.

May the Lord bless you for taking the time to read this and pray for us.

Changes, Transitions, and the Ebb of Time

The last time I posted on this blog, I was a different man.

At that time, ten months back, I was looking forward to the publication of my book, to the birth of our granddaughters, to many new paths my feet had apparently found.

There’s an old saying: “Man proposes, but God disposes.”This is a hard truth to learn.

Tonight, my book languishes, still unpublished. Truth be told, it will probably never be published. My publisher and I have had disagreements about the book’s content, its tone. We have had differing views on how the book should be promoted. We have edited and altered the book. We have tried a variety of marketing approaches, including some interviews and website networking. But the book still hasn’t seen print, and it probably never will. I say this not because my publisher and I are at odds, or because there is no interest in the topic. I say this because life itself has taken hold of me with iron tongs and given me a good, hard shake. I no longer know if I can unreservedly cling to the views I wrote of so passionately in Faithful In Every Season. Why do I say this?

Tonight, my mother is in a nursing home, in another state, and I can’t get to her.

For many reasons, I won’t share details here. But suffice it to say that she is in a nursing home against her will, against my will, and without my knowing that she was going to be placed there. Sadie and I are working hard to get her released into our care, but before we can do this, there are many rough rivers to cross. We are learning firsthand how difficult it is to navigate the waters of Medicare, Medicaid, attorneys, private investigators, social workers, uncooperative family members…the System.

And yes, our ancient enemy is there at every riverbank, whispering our doubts in articulate words, redirecting our thoughts away from Christ, tempting us to despair, to lash out, to seek vengeance, to give up, to rely on our own strength instead of our ever-faithful Father’s mighty arm.

Even at this early point on our journey, I can tell that my perspective is changing, has changed, will change. I was once so smug, so informed, so expert in the area of eldercare. And now I am a child in a small, tossed boat, crying against the waves and wind, looking into a dark sky and praying for a shaft of light.

My friends, if any of you still check this blog, I humbly ask you to pray for my mother. Pray that God will go before us, that He will superintend in this matter and open a way for us to bring Mother here with us. Pray that God will give Sadie and me wisdom and grace as we try to discern and do His will in this sad matter. Pray that He will place kind and tender people around Mother in the nursing home, people who will truly care for her until He delivers her into our hands. And pray that He will sustain her faith in His goodness and His mercy, even as she cries and trembles and endures things that we cannot allow ourselves – for the sake of sanity and mental clarity - to dwell on at length just yet.

May the Lord richly and dramatically bless any of you who answer this plea for spiritual support. Your prayers will be a cup of cold water indeed. Sadie and I and our little family thank you.

12:14 pm

I recall that my grandmother swung a pretty mean hammer, too...

7:30 pm

Sometimes, words fail me. But then sometimes, words come easily. The words "despicable" and "contemptible" come to mind at this moment.

***

One of the most godly men I have ever known has deteriorated (both physically and mentally) in recent years since his beloved wife died. Today, I received news that my dear friend "Harve" fell and broke one of his hips. I also learned that his son has placed him in a skilled nursing facility (translation: nursing home). This is difficult news for Sadie and me, since we know how "Harve" treasures having his own place. Also, we have had some unpleasant run-ins with this son over the years, and have been appalled at how he has both treated and spoken to "Harve" and the late "Mrs. Harve."

I ask each of you to pray that these arrangements are temporary. May the good Lord's mighty hand protect my friend from being permanently removed from his apartment, and may He grant health, peace, and dignity to "Harve" and all those who are facing similar upheavals in life.

***

Finally, please pray for our beloved friend CeeBee. She is in her late eighties, but is more energetic and dynamic than I was when I was in my twenties. She is also one of the most Christlike people we have ever known. CeeBee has ministered to Sadie and me many, many times since we've known her. She is also one of the wisest saints we've ever loved. Right now, CeeBee is experiencing quite a bit of physical discomfort, and is in fact being forced to alter her home's layout in order to accomodate her changing needs. Ask the Lord to ease CeeBee's discomfort, to prevent her from becoming discouraged over her limitations, and to grant her more intimacy with Him before His throne.

Goodnight, beloved friends. May the Master prepare amazing things for your day tomorrow.

8:52 pm

Last week over at The Deliberate Agrarian, Herrick Kimball posted a beautiful, poetic essay about his family's commitment to caring for his aging, ailing father. Go to this link and scroll down to the section titled "The Fall & Its Consequences." May God bless the Kimballs as they honor God and their loved one.

***

Then comes this story from the Associated Press, in which we read that people who tend to the elderly are among the U.S. workers who have the highest rates of depression.

The section that really caught my attention was this one: "The various job categories tracked could be quite broad, with employees grouped in the same category seemingly having little in common. For example, one category included workers in the arts, media, entertainment and sports. In the personal care category, a worker caring for toddlers at a daycare center would have quite a different job from a nursing aide who helps an older person live at home rather than in a nursing home."

The article focuses on those who work (presumably with non-family members) as opposed to those who serve for no wages. I keep wondering what the results of such a government study would be if it focused on those dear people who care for their own loved ones as opposed to caring for strangers and being paid for it.

***

Tonight, my sister is visiting my mother, who has been experiencing a fairly dramatic decline in both health and spirits. Mother remains firm in her trust in her Savior, however, and for this we rejoice. I would be indebted if each of you would ask God to bless and protect my mother, and that He might unburden her heart during this time of trial. And tonight, may He sustain all those elderly saints who look to Him for their life and hope and strength.

10:13 pm

Has it really been a month since I last updated this blog? A month? I'm astounded. And not a little ashamed.

Much has passed since I was last here, not the least important of which is that I have a new job. The pay, benefits, and environment are all markedly superior to my last position, and Sadie and I are thanking God for it. He is truly faithful to His children.

***

Speaking of Sadie, please join me in wishing her a very Happy Birthday! A certain number of years ago tonight, God brought a beautiful baby girl into this world, and He blessed her with the kindest, most sensitive, generous heart I have ever known in my life - and that is not romantic hyperbole. She is a flawed human (like me), a sinner dependent on God's forgiveness through Christ (like me). But she truly is the best person I have ever known. Thanks be to God for her years of life, and may He grant her many more.

***

One other Sadie note...back some time ago, I mentioned one of my beloved wife's singularly arresting comments to me. She said, "Some day, I just know that I'm going to open a can of peas and a mouse is going to fall out." Well, I broke up laughing when I read this item. And when I told Sadie about it, she noted, "When it happens to me, it'll be an entire mouse. And then you'll have to take me to a nursing home."

For those who adhere to the Atkins Diet, one has to wonder about the protein content of a mouse head. Or an entire mouse, for those who are not severely restricting caloric intake.

***

Finally, here's an article from The New England Journal of Medicine about flu shots and the elderly. Read the article and tell me your thoughts, dear friends. Do you take flu shots? Do you think administering flu shots to elderly people is a sound idea? Do you know what's in a flu shot? Do let me hear from you on this matter.

Good night and may the Lord bless you as you rest.

10:47 pm

The owners of the nursing home where 35 patients died during and after Hurricane Katrina were acquitted today.


Katrina nursing home owners acquitted
Couple was accused of negligent homicide after 35 patients drowned

ST. FRANCISVILLE, La. - The owners of a nursing home where 35 patients died after Hurricane Katrina were acquitted Friday of negligent homicide and cruelty charges for not evacuating the facility as the storm approached.

The jury took about four hours to acquit Sal and Mabel Mangano, the husband-and-wife owners of St. Rita's Nursing Home in St. Bernard Parish, just outside of New Orleans.

They had faced 35 counts of negligent homicide and 24 counts of cruelty to the elderly or infirm after the patients drowned — some in their beds — when the monster hurricane swept through the area.

Judge Jerome Winsberg asked the defendants to stand when the verdicts were read. When Mabel Mangano did so, she buried her face in her husband's shoulder.

Afterward, the Manganos sat back down and hugged each other. Their daughter, Tammy White, sobbed quietly as the victims' family and friends — all wearing black, some with buttons of the picture of the person who died at St. Rita's — sat stoically. None cried.

The couple was the only people to face criminal charges stemming directly from Hurricane Katrina. More than 30 lawsuits have been filed against them by patients injured at the nursing home and the families of people who died there.

The coastal parish was all but wiped out by Katrina's floodwaters on Aug. 29, 2005. Prosecutors say the Manganos should have evacuated the home as the storm closed in. Defense lawyers say levee failures and a government that never called a mandatory evacuation are to blame.

The trial even featured testimony from Gov. Kathleen Blanco, who said she had left to local officials the decision of whether to order an evacuation. Prosecutors called her after she fought a subpoena from the owners' attorneys.

The Manganos have said the area had never flooded in the 20 years St. Rita's was in operation, and defense attorney Jim Cobb said that was the basis for their decision to ride out the storm.

"We're talking frail people, people with special needs, people who would be at risk during an evacuation," Cobb said before the trial began. "The Manganos thought they were saving lives by sheltering in place."

**

Over at Country Charm (a blog-discovery of Sadie's), Betty offers some eye-opening, gas-saving tips. This is the sort of practical stuff I really enjoy learning.

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And Reason has some very provocative observations about women and meanness over at Inkworks...

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Sorry to keep drawing attention to the 90-degree days we're having here in the hills, but, well, it's going to be hot for the next several days apparently. With a belly full of Sadie's pulled-pork barbecue and a belly full of hot weather, it's time for bed on a Friday night. Sleep well, dear friends, and pray for those who are not sleeping in family homes tonight.